Sunday Morning

Good morning! I am waiting for my eggs to boil and then it's breakfast and off to church. I am meeting my good friend Joe after church for lunch. We usually meet somewhere half way on Route 8 like Eat n Park, but today I am going up to his place because he can't get his "Google" up on his computer. Don't ask me. I have no idea. I just know that when he tries to go to that url it gives him a page error message. I'm not too worried because this is the guy who called me two weeks ago because he couldn't figure out how to heat something on medium heat in his microwave.:>)

So classes ended on Friday. My last was Thursday night. I have two papers due by Friday and an in-class final on Thursday night. I worked on both papers yesterday and nothing was flowing. I think it's because I just don't feel like it since I am not going back. :>) Oh well, it will get done. At some point.

After that there is a lot to do. And a lot to talk about. I'll give you the trailer now: I believe that God is calling me to Lebanon and an opportunity to teach English as a second language.

But that's it for now! More later!

Once a week

I seem to be posting once a week whether I need it or not.

As many of you know, my mom, my dad and my brother Ronnie are three peas in a pod. One of the great things about them is that they live and enjoy their life. They may sound like a pretty simplistic statement. But think about it, a lot of people really don't seem to have any joy in their life at all. I think one of the things I learned from them is to enjoy the seemingly small things in life. One thing they do that makes me smile is that at the end of the day they give Ronnie a "grade" for the day. This is all in fun and done very lightheartedly and for some uncanny reason, he never, no matter what the day, seems to get anything lower than an A. Most days it's a A+. Like I have said, if Ronnie could talk, he would say, "You know, no matter what they say, I'm never really in that much trouble.:>D). And yes, he would add that really big smile when he said it.

So, in light of that, were I to grade this past week, I would give the week an A+. Work was good and I got a lot done. The greatest thing is that I got several things done that have been in process for a while now. These are things that could not be finished until someone else did what they needed to do. You know the stuff...waiting for budget numbers, waiting for responses to emails, waiting for people to return from vacation to provide definitive answer......you know, things that make it impossible for me to empty my "inbox."

But those things got cleared up. So I am starting Monday with what feels like a clean slate.

The week at school was good, too. Actually, it was great. I am not returning next term, but I am now glad that I decided not to jump ship earlier in the term. I made a plan and stuck with it. It's paying off and things are looking good for me to have a decent finish. My classmate Anna and I gave a 2o minute presentation on the Doctrine of Purgatory on Thursday night. (Most fun 10% of a grade that I have ever worked on.) The presentation went so well! The reaction of the class was actually pretty amazing. I mean, people, especially the other women, were hugging us and saying that it was the best presentation of the term. The guys were too, but the women seemed especially proud of us. I was so happy, especially for Anna. She is staying and finishing her master's and I have to say that she is one amazing young woman. Just one of the brightest young minds I have ever met and so determined and focused. Love her so much!

Oh, and the most fun thing? We made Purgatory Cake to share with the class on break! What is it? Well, you take an angel food cake mix and mix it with a devil's food cake mix and voila(!) you have Purgatory Cake. Her friend suggested it and when she told me I said that we had to do it, if for no other reason, because I know for a fact that this teacher likes cake! So we made it prior to class and they loved the cake too. If you're curious, the mixing creates a spongy, dense chocolaty cake. Maybe like a spongy brownie? We topped it with fluffy white frosting and, well, it couldn't have been too bad.....we had two cakes and they ate all but about four pieces!

So, all in all a pretty cool week. Lots more to talk about and that will be coming soon. I know I'm being cryptic, but I have to do one thing before I start laying out all of the details. In the mean time, please keep me in your prayers!

Love to all!

Time flies

I don't think I have much to say. I have been spouting things on Facebook off and on all day. I like Facebook. It appeals to the stalker in me and also to my passive-aggressive nature that I normally deny that I have.

Busy weekend. Yesterday I fought against the thing that was becoming a Saturday norm for me. (I have this tendency to waste half the day away puttering around the apartment.) I do stuff so it's not completely wasted. But since I don't put my contacts in and put off showering I am a bit limited with what I can do.

The fact is that sometimes my contacts can be a real pain. Literally. There is no rhyme or reason to it but some days they are more uncomfortable than others when I first put them in. It can take up to an hour for them to really settle down. I don't know why, but no matter what contacts I have worn this has always been the case.

So Monday through Friday I just get up and do it because I have to go to work obviously. And Sunday, same deal, because of church. But man, Saturdays I will avoid it as long as possible.

But this week I was up at 8 and had them in by 8:30. I got a lot done which is good because I needed to.

Church was great today. It was Communion Sunday and the senior pastor was out of town so the youth ministries pastor spoke. Good message about Jonah. We also sang a lively rendition of "Washed in the Blood." I felt like I was in an all-black choir! It was great. Very gospel feel to it.

Oh, and Betsy, isn't your son a pastor at the campus Alliance church in State College? One of our pastors, John Stanko has been there this weekend. He's fabulous and one of the funniest people I know. I'd be anxious top hear what they thought of him.

Okay, more reading and then night night!

On Last Night's Post

I started to comment on last night's comments from Kellie and Cliff but it got kind of long.....

First of all....thank you both.:>) I am not at all upset by this turn of events. So if my post seemed like that was the case it is not. I was tired and probably kind of vague. And Kellie, I agree, it's part of the journey. I'm glad I'm 45 and not 20. Quitting college the first time was an extreme struggle because I worried too much about what everyone thought and made a complete mess of everything. (No need for the graphic details here. Trust me.:>D)

This time around the decision has been surprisingly easy. I don't feel like a failure. I don't feel like I messed something up. I certainly don't feel like I have to explain myself to anyone. I just don't like what I am doing. And since I'm the one paying to do it, it's my choice if I want to stop doing it. I'm sure there are people who would say "well, you go to work and don't like it". Actually I like my job. I've liked most of my jobs. Certain aspects of certain jobs and certain people that I have to deal with have been a total pain in the butt. But overall I have enjoyed my work experiences. And when I haven't, I've changed jobs. Besides, work is different in that sometimes we have to make the best of it. We have to pay the rent, eat etc.

And of course there will be those who will say that I haven't given it much time. Well, to them I say this: I know myself pretty well and I know that I am not happy. That works for me. Besides, as Kellie has said, it isn't time wasted. The last 7 weeks have brought a great deal of clarity to me in regards to certain issues. I'm ready to work on some issues that need worked on and I am also ready to pursue some things that I have wanted to do for a long, long time.

And Cliff, I enjoyed your rant. I always enjoy your rants.:>D I agree. People don't get what "calling" is. I know that for many years I didn't get it either. I thought that some day God would just drop an email or something saying "here. this is it. go do it." (Although God would proabbly use capital letters to start His sentences.) Correct me if I'm wrong but it's the whole call/vocation thing. My call is to spread the Gospel, the Great Commission. The vocation in which I choose to do this could be any number of things. And any number of those things could be pleasing to God. But vocation should match up with things like skills, abilities, desires and loves. It should match up with who you are as a person.

Trust me, there have been about 30 things that have irked me about this seminary in the last 2 months. Those are the things I wanted to write about last night. I wanted to rant.:>) But the fact of the matter is that just because I don't agree with some things, it doesn't mean that those who run the seminary are wrong. It's just not a good match. The things I don't like are all petty differences. The greater issue is that seminary isn't a good match for my abilities and desires. That's what makes me miserable. That's what has given me a three-day headache this past week.

So I won't rave against the school. I'll instead take what I've learned and move forward.

Anyway, thanks for your comments and thanks for listening. I'd be curious to hear what you all have to say in regard to calling and vocation. Feel free to comment!

Life's Too Long to Live Like This

That's an old Ricky Skaggs song and it fits how I have been feeling lately.

Have you ever made a decision that you thought was a really good one and then seven weeks later thought to yourself, "What the heck was I thinking?".

That's where I am right now. I'm not happy. Seminary is not my thing. I don't like it and I am not going back next term. Life may be short. But it's too long to live like this.

Someone said to me just today, "So now your calling has changed?" Well, I'll be honest, looking back I can see that this was a "Kim thing" and not a "God thing". I'm not sure that I consulted Him on this one.

The good news is that the last few weeks have clarified some things for me. And some of the things are things that I wasn't expecting to have clarified. Another good thing is that knowing that I don't like it, I am not about to spend the next 3 years trying to prove to myself (and everyone else) that I do.

So there you have it. More later but for now I have to get some sleep. My eyes are tired and so am I!.

Taking a break.....

....from Early Church History studies. I have a mid-term this week. This subject is more interesting to me that I expected. I find that we in the modern church tend to romanticize the early church. But I am seeing more and more that they were subject to the same problems that we still suffer from today, in particular those problems caused by people who want to control and politicize spiritual beliefs. But I am inspired by the stories of the martyrs, the confessors and the early monks who held firmly to their beliefs despite incredible opposition.

This is a quote from Basil the Great, a monk turned bishop of Caesarea, while facing threats from the emperor because of his anti-Arian stance, "All that I have that you can confiscate are these rags and a few books. Nor can you exile me, for wherever you send me, I shall be God's guest. As to the tortures you should know that my body is already dead in Christ. And death would be a great boon to me, leading me sooner to God."

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Work-wise.....we made it through another week! Although I had a few days where I felt like I must surely be speaking a different language than everyone else on our staff.:>D The idea that we, in this day and age are not very good communicators, let alone good listeners, is not a cliche, in my opinion, it is a fact. I do all of the new-hire orientations for our associates. I think I can pat myself on the back here and say that I do a thorough job. Yet, I tend to have the same conversations with people over and over. One has to do with parking passes. We pay $10 a pay to park on campus. This is chicken feed compared to other parking fees in the city. But people don't want to pay that, so then I tell them that there is also very convenient street parking right off of campus. What do they do? They "take their chances", get tickets for up to $120 and then come crying (or screaming, which I really like) to me that I need to do something about this. Whatever dude. I hate to say I told you so, but you're going to pay....one way or the other.

My other favorite conversation is the one about direct deposit. If you want it, you need to fill out the Payment Authorization Form and attach either a voided check or an official letter on bank letterhead stating your account number and ABA routing number. The best thing I saw this week was the "official" HANDWRITTEN note on a beautifully torn (shredded)(yes, I am being sarcastic) piece of paper, from what looked to be their own personal notepad.

Do I suddenly slip into Swahili when I am doing orientations? Must be the case.

Then there is one of our unit supervisors who asks me so many questions on a daily basis that I refuse to make eye contact with her anymore. Her questions for me seem to have only one requirement....that they have absolutely nothing to do with me or my functions as an office manager. Number one, I do not manage people. Number two, I do not answer for the people who DO manage people.

Here is a typical conversation:

Me: Hello, this is Kim.
Her: I have a question.
Me: (sigh) Okay, shoot.
Her: Am I allowed to (first mistake) put up a sign that says, "We will be glad to serve you when you are finished with your cell phone conversation?"
As a former manager, this makes my hair stand up on end.
Me: I highly doubt it, but I am not the person to ask.
Her: (snippy-like) Well, I didn't know.
Me: Well, am I your boss?
Her: Some places do.
Me: Am I?
Her: No. I'll ask the GM.
Me: Well, I wouldn't do-
She hung up on me. Again, whatever dude.:>) If you feel the need to drive her out of her mind then go for it.

Now, I feel her pain in that cell phones have created a whole new set of anti-etiquette rules in our society. But I am not the person to whom these questions should be posed. And while she will get angry with me and hang up on me, she will also be back the very next day with yet another question that completely does not pertain to me or my job.

LOL. Thanks for listening to all of that! And now back to my studies!

As Time Goes By

****The first picture is me on a missions trip to Pachuca in 2005. The second is of my graduation in May 2009 and down 60 pounds. (I am now down 70 pounds.) The third picture is the Aztec pyramid that we visited. I couldn't make it to the top because of my weight. More on this later in the post.........

I am amazed that not only is summer over, but now the month of September is over and we are 4 days into October. During my senior year of high school my classmates and I were lamenting that time was going too slow. We couldn't wait to graduate and get out in the world. Our calculus teacher, Mr. Kardohley, told us that time may seem to be moving at a snail's pace, but once we graduated and did get out, time would go by very quickly. He said that 25 years would go by in a flash. Truer words were never spoken. This spring it will be 29 years since we graduated. I wonder if anyone else who was there remembers his words.

So, I have decided to stop fretting about things. I have allowed myself to get into a bit of a slump. I like to think that I don't worry anymore but that's not true. I have been worrying about school and worrying about my weight, because I had myself convinced that I wasn't doing enough as far as exercise and healthy eating was concerned. So after a short period of feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulder I spent time in prayer and asked the Lord for guidance. Then I took inventory of my situation and made a new plan.:>)

As far as school is concerned, while I have decided that three classes is probably too much while working full-time, I have also decided to hang in there for the rest of the term and do the best that I can. If I don't get all A's, I don't, and it will be alright. That may seem like common sense, but it was a tough thing for me to come to terms with.:>)

As for weight, I looked back and realized that I got four workouts in this week. Were they as intense as I am used to? Probably not. But they averaged 45 minutes in length and while my weight and measurements have not gone down for a couple of weeks, they haven't gone up either.

Something that I realized is that my health is just as much a priority to me as my education is. That's another reason that I will drop back to 2 classes from here on out. It just works better with the rest of my life.

So for the next 7 weeks until the term ends I will work hard to maintain the weight I am at and do the best I possibly can in my classes.

Lest it seem like I am taking the credit for this amazing (:>D) plan all for myself, I'm not. As a a matter of fact I give Christ all of the credit. My normal mode of operation is that when the going gets tough I run in the other direction. It has only been with the development of my relationship with God that I have realized that I no longer face difficulties alone and am able to make plans to get through things instead of bailing on problems like I used to.

I made another decision through all of this recently. I am going back to Pachuca this summer. It will be five years since I have been there and I still long to go back. I have been in touch with the missionaries and they gave me the green light to come for as long as I want to. I would like to go for 2-4 weeks, probably in June. I would like to go when other work teams are there, but will go by myself if there aren't any. Apparently they have been begging people to come but are having trouble because people are afraid due to H1N1 and apparent drug war issues there. Like I told Vickie, I work on a college campus and I handle all of the dirty money. Not to sound like a fatalist, but if I am going to get it I am going to get it. I hope to be blogging more details on a regular basis so you can be in prayer for them and that God will meet their needs as far as teams are concerned. In the meantime I will get my passport and start saving my money.

Okay, that's all for now. Go Steelers! Go Pens!

P.S. On a personal note: When I get to Mexico I am going back to the Aztec ruins and climbing that darn pyramid. I couldn't do it physically last time, but I can and will do it this time. It has become my own personal Mt. Everest. Thus the pictures.